The Epiphanies, Ponderings, and Insights Of A Contemplative Latter-Day Saint
Friday, September 30, 2011
Building Me
As I sat at my desk the other day thinking, I happened across a random memory of building my Pinewood Derby car with my dad years ago. I remembered it was blue with black stripes (or was it black with blue stripes? hmm...). I called it the Zebra. It ended up winning third place! As great as winning was, the best part about it was actually building the car.
I remember bringing that beautiful little box home after Cub Scouts, the contents of which were a block, four wheels, four axle pieces, and a paper with instructions on it. Everything I needed to build it... except the tools. Thankfully we had a piece of sandpaper, a carving knife, a saw to help us shape and form that block into the desired shape. We were ready to begin.
We began forming it using the knife to get it into a basic shape that at least sort of resembled the car. After that, I mostly used the sandpaper to smooth out the edges, using the carving knife when needed. As we did, we were able to form it perfectly into the car we wanted it to be. Lastly, we painted it and attached the four wheels. Out of a block of wood, and four wheels, we formed and shaped a top notch derby car.
As I reminisced on this memory, I somewhat jokingly wondered if there had been any projects like that, that my Heavenly Father and I had worked on. And then it hit me. I was that project; and we had been working together on me for quite a while.
I thought about the Pinewood Derby, and how working on that car was a similar process to the one I have and continue to undergo each day. I began life like that block of wood. Pretty innocent; very smooth and rectangular; not very useful. Maybe kind of boring, but definitely full of potential. So, I went along my life, and over time, I became less and less like that block of wood, and more and more like a piece of wood with a bunch of dings, holes, and bumps in it, but without the necessary tools, there was precious little I could do.
Eventually, I got to a point where I realized that I wasn't useful for much and that I really needed some help and tools to change that. It was then that I began to accept God's help, and to do my best to actively help Him form me into something useful. Over time, I have worked with God on me, and sought His help in smoothing out my roughness. At times, He has had to use the carving knife, and once or twice, even the saw. At those times, it often was difficult to see how this was helping, when it seemed like I was just losing a bunch of who I was.
I won't say I am anywhere near becoming as useful and smooth as my beautiful Pinewood Derby car, but I will say I am much more useful than that piece of wood I started out as, that could only eat, sleep, and cry.
All in all, I wouldn't trade those times - the good and the hard - that have formed me, and continue to form me each day into something useful. I will be forever grateful for God helping me build me.
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